If Italy Could Talk

If Italy could talk, it probably wouldn’t have even noticed that SDF and I were there a couple of weeks ago — Italy being a bustling country and all.

But if Italy could talk, and if Italy had noticed us, Italy would be mentioning to France right now that a truly love-struck couple had just visited for a while, and that Italy hasn’t seen such sickening-sweet-but-inspiring love in years.

Italy would mention that as a prank, it gave the happy couple blistering heat and rainforest-like humidity in Barga — but that the happy couple took a 10-mile hike anyway. And that the couple, though exhausted, were entranced by the view that awaited them at a medieval hilltop town in Tuscany.

Italy would relate that it gave the happy couple thunderstorms in Florence to make amends for the heat prank. And then it would sigh with remorse that it managed to also give the happy couple the flu. But that, despite the rain and the flu, the happy couple saw museums, listened to a street violinist play gorgeous classical music at night, ate at wonderful restaurants, and generally made a nuisance kissing each other all of the time and attempting to take artistic photographs of each other.

Although France would be getting bored by now (it has its own lovestruck couples to watch you know), Italy would regale France with the story of the happy couple in Venice — how the happy couple were moved by their time inside Saint Mark’s cathedral, how they danced in St. Mark’s square at night to live music, how they took a gondola ride after most of the other gondolas were neatly tucked up in bed.

The happy couple, Italy would say, could not be stopped from enjoying their vacation, from enjoying and loving each other.

France would throw up finally and tell Italy to shove off.