Tears from him.
In that hotel room, in the dark.
Unmanning me.
“I can’t… just can’t!”
His voice pleaded, pulling the sheets up, aborting the moment.
Me, Munsch’s Scream, silent, gaping. Not breathing. Pulse frenetic.
I couldn’t hear. Something about another girl, no — a woman.
Another woman. He loved us both.
She in Ohio, me in San Francisco.
But he was also in Ohio. When he wasn’t there with me, in that hotel room, a rare occurrence.
Too expensive by far, when one’s money sources were scarce.
And so. She was his every day.
And I his remember when.
*********************************
This piece was brought to you by:
from Kim (last week’s winner) via Lance at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog. This is my first attempt at anything this short, I found it challenging in some ways, but liberating in others. Concrit and all other commentary is always appreciated!! And if you aren’t currently following Lance’s blog, GO DO IT NOW.
I'm Not Writing A Novel 
March 28, 2012 at 9:49 am
I loved this all round, but “And I his remember when.” I loved the most.
March 28, 2012 at 9:51 am
Thanks so very much! I enjoyed your entry too, looking forward to reading more of your stuff!
March 28, 2012 at 9:57 am
Damn…that finish is brutal! Fantastic play with the challenge!
March 28, 2012 at 10:02 am
Thank-you so much, I’m off to read your entry!!
March 28, 2012 at 10:37 am
great, gut punching, amazing, last line.
I love it. welcome back to the challenge. Leeroy is extra happy.
March 28, 2012 at 10:45 am
Glad to be here!! 🙂 Thanks!!
March 28, 2012 at 1:52 pm
I love how we wrote about the same kind of things, Hotel rooms, near adultery. You did it so well.
I think you did a fantastic job, that last line was perfect.
March 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Thanks so much!! 🙂
March 28, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Oh, that last line. Amazing. So much stuffed into those few words.
Awesome
March 29, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Thanks so much!!! 🙂
March 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Your image of Munsch’s Scream was perfect. And, I agree… that last line said it all.
March 30, 2012 at 9:36 am
I’m so glad you liked it!! 🙂 Thanks for visiting!
April 1, 2012 at 9:23 am
Oh my God, those last 2 lines. Those. Last. Two. LINES. Brilliant.
Came from the 100 Word Song linkup.
April 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Wow, so happy you liked it!! Thanks!
April 1, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Seems as if “last lines” are what make a good 100 Word Song. Yours isn’t good though, it’s great!
April 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm
So kind of you to say, thanks!
April 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm
“And so. She was his every day.
And I his remember when.”
That right there is just perfect.
April 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm
W00t! So happy that spoke to you!