Thankful Tuesdays: An open letter to Dr. Demento

Dear Dr. Demento,

I do not know what you have your doctorate in.

I do not know how you came to have your own radio show.

I do not know how you managed to have so many cool friends who are so entertaining.

And frankly, I don’t care.

I’m just thankful you were around to teach me about wet dreams when I was in middle school.

Since, being a girl without any brothers living in the house, I may not have learned about them otherwise.  At least, not at that age.

Also, and not at all related to wet dreams (that you KNOW of…), I’m thankful for your Christmas CD.

Without you I’d never have been introduced to Allan Sherman, Tom Lehrer, Stan Freberg, Kip Addotta, and Wild Man Fischer.

And while I already knew about Bob & Doug McKenzie and Cheech & Chong, their holiday ramblings were new to me and are now my go-to Christmastime ambience-creators (because I’m all about the toques and weed, or at least I like to pretend that I am).

This year I really have to figure out how to get that beer into our tree.  I have not been successful at that yet.  Do you have any tips?  Perhaps weed is required.  Good thing the house smells strongly of pine.

So, to wrap up, thank-you for being a formative influence in my life.

All my demented love,

V

P.S.: I just looked you up on Wikipedia and it turns out you don’t actually have a doctorate, only a Masters in “ethnomusicology”. Forget everything I said in my letter you lying sack of shit.

P.P.S.: Sorry, that was the meds talking.  I still love you even though you lie.

P.P.P.S.: Um, I could give you an honorary doctorate, and then it wouldn’t be a lie, right?

P.P.P.P.S.: What, the University of Venus isn’t accredited?  Since when does that matter?  You’re the one lying on your resume about your education…