catch up

It’s been a little too long since I’ve posted, so I’m going to attempt to sum up the last couple of weeks in brief(ish) impressions.

— Was at Valley Fair in the food court. Watched a couple of teenage girls eat what looked like McSushi. Listened in on the chat about how one girl’s ex won’t stop calling her. When queried by her friend as to why she still answers his calls, she just shrugs and pops a roll. She then starts talking about the “green stuff”. “It’s wasabi,” I say. I have intruded and am rewarded with incredulous faces. I mumble an apology and flee.

— The night before Valley Fair I’d made a trip to IKEA. Not for anything in particular except maybe to people-watch and get a cinnamon bun. So disappointing. No-one there was enjoying themselves. Everyone so serious… so determined to get in and out. None of the usual “look I can get 5 million votive candles for a dollar!” wackiness. No-one lingering in a staged living room joking about the terrible fake books and electronics on the shelves.

— But Joy of Joys! I have found that I do, in fact, have hamstrings. The past 3 Pilates sessions have been all about the hamstrings as it appears that my normal mode of operating is to allow my quads to do almost all the work since they’re so much stronger than my hams. But after some experienced (and patient) guidance, I have learned how to use my long-lost hamstrings. It may not sound exciting, but I’m doing happy dances about this. (Well… internal happy dances since I’m at work at the moment.)

— Got my hair done and it is RED. Ultra-RED. Ooooooh I love it. Time for my fave Tori quote, “This house is like Russia/with eyes cold and gray/you got me movin’ in a circle/I dyed my hair red today/I just want a little passion/to move me in the dark/I know I’ve got some magic/buried, buried deep in my heart.”

— Speaking of getting my hair done, I parked in a new garage this time. The White House Garage. Yeah… that’s what I said, too.. “what White House?” A man in the elevator with me remarked “You know, I expected more from the White House. This is a little shabby.” I laughed politely. As I was walking out of the parking garage to the salon, a gaggle of parking attendants in black pants and white oxford shirts with white valet jackets all sauntered out of the building ahead of me. It was the parking attendants’ version of Reservoir Dogs. I couldn’t help giggling — they all looked so serious and self-important. It would’ve been perfect if I’d seen it in slow-motion.

— For a hoot, a friend of mine and I went to a Tivo-sponsored singles mixer at the W. It was vaguely entertaining. The event was free, and they gave us each 2 free drinks (full bar). I saw a couple of kids from my high school graduationg class, and I won a Tivo box in the raffle (but I had to lug it around on my hip the rest of the evening). There were film crews and photographers, and I despair of being seen somewhere on some Tivo ad.

— I got a 12-sided die from the Pirate Store. It has various body parts listed on its faces. Now when someone at work pisses me off I just roll the die to determine which part of their body I get to hack off with my pirate sword. This is shamefully gratifying. Today alone I’ve taken the left foot of 12 customers, and the right leg of a vendor rep.

— I spent a period of time doing late nights at work babysitting a data load for a customer. It largely consisted of me watching my screen and pushing a button every minute-and-a-half or so. When I related this to another co-worker he said “See! Proof that we’re living in the age of the Jetsons!” I responded “So where’s my robot to do all my cooking and cleaning then, huh? WHERE’S MY ROBOT DAMNIT!!” This response tickled my co-worker so much that he wrote it up on my whiteboard in my cubicle (sans “damnit”). Since then, another kind soul has added beneath the existing text: “Baaaaaad Robot!”

— Another great find at the Pirate Store is the stunningly poignant book All My Friends Are Dead. I highly recommend it!!

Okay. I’ll try to keep up on a more regular basis so my next post isn’t so long-winded. ;-P